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SO YOU FANCY YOURSELF A SAILOR?

So You Have A Boat Now, have taken a few classes, and you think you know everything.

You feel good about yourself and think you are a “Salty”

Think again, Here are some characteristics of what true boys(and gals), of the sea say makes them seasoned sailors

A sailor…

Knows what phase the moon is in

  • Can tell the wind speed by feel
  • Can light a cigarette no matter the weather conditions (French sailors)
  • Has lost a digit in a winching accident
  • Dresses in primary colors
  • Gets upset when people call the British national flag the Union Jack
  • Always passes port to the left (unless he’s in America)
  • Can sleep anywhere
  • Has an eclectic collection of yacht club-branded T-shirts
  • Sports sun-yellowed eyebrows
  • Is not afraid of seasickness
  • Does not carry an umbrella
  • Sniggers when hearing someone say ‘Over and out’ in a movie
  • Can always find a parking space
  • Drinks beer/rum/whisky for breakfast (after a long trip)
  • Never uses a wheelie suitcase
  • Finds it acceptable to eat and drink out of plastic
  • Owns a spork
  • Can fix anything (usually with epoxy or duck tape)
  • Can throw a great party in the smallest of spaces
  • Can make friends in an instant that last a lifetime
  • Is good at keeping in touch
  • Is adept at sewing up holes (in sails, in clothes)
  • Is good at whipping
  • Daydreams of adventure
  • Actually goes on adventures
  • Shies away from botox, knowing that lines speak of a life well lived
  • Never goes for a manicure
  • Does not use the word ‘hurricane’ lightly
  • Is not daunted by third world lavatories
  • Is open-minded and big-hearted
  • Knows the name of a good pub or restaurant in every port town in the western hemisphere (and much of the eastern)
  • Has a friend in every port town in the western hemisphere – often a bartender
  • Can whip up a hearty meal consisting entirely of tinned and packet foods
  • Is not phased by the idea of making tea at 30° (whether lat, long or angle of heel)
  • Knows the difference between latitude and longitude – and is always aware of where he or she is
  • Has seen more sunsets and sunrises, dolphins and views of the Milky Way than anyone else they know
  • Is not afraid of the dark
  • Knows that lists like these are for desk-based landlubbers who aren’t busy off having adventure

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